Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The letter U!

U is for unlovable and unworthy!
Well, blogger friends, today is a truth day!

For most of my life I believed that I was unlovable and unworthy. It wasn’t until my recent journey through breast cancer, that I would allow myself to choose to throw these two words in the garbage. Something about being faced with the reality of my death made me do a stop and think.

When I was a child, I was told by a trusted and loved adult that my parents didn’t love me, didn’t want me and I basicallt ruined my mother’s life. These words were etched in my heart often clouding my judgment and decisions. I was unworthy and unlovable.

I carried these lies into my marriage. I was unable to believe the words, “I love You!” from my husband. How could he love me? I was unworthy and unlovable.

When my oldest daughter was born almost 24 years ago—I was so excited and my heart was filled with joy—someone loved me! Unfortunately due to my insecurities and brokenness I didn’t always mother her…I smothered her! Many times I let my need of being loved, cloud my parenting judgment. I was unworthy and unlovable.

For many years I would strive for a relationship with God. I would pray. I would bible study. I would talk Christianize, all the while I was crying inside—unable to believe. I was unworthy and unlovable.

Oh, the tears I have shed throughout the years, because I believed the lies: I was unworthy and unlovable.

Then cancer…

Slowly as I was being stripped physically, God met me spiritually. It was in my broken state that I met the faithfulness and love of our creator. When I didn’t have anything left to give, He showed me that I was loved for just being me. In the darkest of nights, I began to understand that none of us are worthy, but we all have worth.

My life now has freedom for I have bound up the lies and thrown them in the garbage! I am loved and I have worth!

My prayer for you dear friend is that you can recognize an untruth in your life and throw it in the garbage. You are loved and You are worthy!!


Mary Aalgaard said...

Kim, I love, love, love these words: My life now has freedom for I have bound up the lies and thrown them in the garbage! I am loved and I have worth!
You are beautifully and wonderfully made and worthy of love and great relationships. Thanks for your uplifting message today. I know those feelings of brokeness and unworthiness, and also healing.

Deborah said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog, and for the kind words about Elaine's song. I'm so glad it was a blessing you you.
About your post today...such a needed message! There was a time I believed those lies too, and I'm so thankful those years are behind me! I'm sure there are many who live with those lies and need to hear your words of encouragement.

Unknown said...

Love you Kim! Glad you threw them in the garbage, it's where they belong!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

In recent days, I've felt like the worst mother in the world... talk about feeling unlovely, unworthy, un-everything! It's sometimes hard for me to bridge the gap between my feelings and truth. God has broken fresh ground with me in recent months, but when I mess up with my homelife, I'm tempted to slip back into old labels.

Christ and his cross have been particularly meaningful to me this Easter season.

Blessing and peace~elaine

Maryann said...

Such an encouraging post, those lies can enslave us and make us ineffective for Christ, glad you threw them in the trash.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalm 139:9
Blessing to you

Elayne said...

Right in the garbage where they belong!! Great post!