Monday, February 25, 2013

At times life doesn't make sense...

Do you ever have one of those weeks that leave you shaking your head...wondering why?

Four years ago, when I had my first chemotherapy treatment, it kicked my butt...So much so, that 4 days after I had received the dose, I had to call oncology clinic because I was so weak. They encouraged me to come to the infusion center for some IV fluids, the doc was thinking I was probably dehydrated.   Previously to that visit to the infusion center, I had never seen anyone close to my age.  Until that day. A day I will never forget. There she was...sitting in a chair--surrounded by several other ladies--and they were all laughing. (I remember thinking--am I ever going to laugh again?)  Well, the only chair open was next to this giggling group of girls, and I was too sick to walk much farther so I sat down.

As I was waiting for my labs to be drawn, I overheard their conversation. (Okay, ya all--I tried hard to NOT listen--but, there was no way that would happen--the chairs in that place were close together.) Anyways, they were talking about the Beth Moore bible study they were doing. Since Beth has been one of my favorite bible study leaders, I was quickly drawn into their conversation...and thus a friendship between Kerri and I was formed. We traveled the chemo highway together...our cancer journey and our faith--a bond that busy lives didn't break.

A few months back we learned Kerri's cancer has returned? It wasn't supposed to happen...I don't understand why?  As I try to process this, I can't even imagine how hard it is for Kerri to process.

Why am I sharing this with you all?

Last week, Kerri wasn't feeling well, so they did a scan that was scheduled for mid March, early.  Unfortunately, it showed that her liver tumor has grown, despite being on chemotherapy.  URGGGHhhh....seriously?  Again, Why?

I know, I know...Some times there just isn't an answer.  So--although, I know there doesn't seem to be answer to this why, I do know that God is with Kerri and her family. He alone provides the hope!  Kerri and I both trust--He has her safely wrapped in His arms--even if at times we don't understand the why...

I asked Kerri for permission to post her family picture and a prayer request!
Please pray for Kerri and her family

Last evening, after I returned home from visiting with Kerri--I read an update from Vicky (a blogger friend)...let's just say...she too, needs our prayers.
Please pray for Vicky. Vicky blogs at  Westra World

Another life story that has me pondering why...

Kylie is a 6 month old with leukemia. She has important tests on  Thursday. Please pray for her and her family.

 I know there is no answers to the why question...and yes...I do trust and hope in our Lord--knowing that He provides healing, comfort and peace.  The main purpose of this blog post is to seek prayers for healing for these three beautiful individuals.  Thank you for joining me in this quest!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, February 11, 2013

Faking it...until you make it!

Last month I blogged about God Sized Dreams.  I am excited to share that website has been redesigned, a Facebook page created, along with brochures and an introduction letter. While it has been crazy busy finalizing these projects, my hope has been strengthened as I watch God work.  Just last week, God orchestrated the timing of a Hope Basket perfectly...and He is so into the details of what goes in these baskets.  I had purchased a variety of CD's to put in the Hope Baskets and to my delight...the CD I put in this particular basket had special meaning to the recipient...all I can say is, "Only God!"

Now, it is time to be a bit more honest with you...what I am going to share with you next, isn't exactly what I would call a "dream." But it is a direction that I feel being led to...after many months (okay, years) I took a huge step, which was prompted by whispers I could no longer run from.  As I have mentioned previously, in October 2012,I joined Toastmasters. Two weeks ago, I had to give my first speech, the "ice breaker."  This speech is a 4 to 6 minute speech about yourself.  Shouldn't be that hard, should it?  Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking when I joined this organization.   It must have been the "chemo brain."  I tell ya...I was so...nervous, I almost  didn't show up to the meeting....that was until I remember my friend Jess's advice, "Kim--at times in life you have to fake it, until you make it!"  So, I gave myself a good ol' pep talk and gave the speech.  Yes, I was scared.  Yes, I could have done and said some things better (clearer.)  But you know what?  I did it...and I was so proud of myself.  Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, when faced with fear...I ask myself the question "If you don't do it, will you regret it?"  I knew that if I didn't do my speech, I would not only regret it, I would also feel like I let God down.  You see...for reasons I can't fully explain, I know that He wants me to learn the skill of public speaking.  So...I'm trusting and doing! (Even when I am afraid!)

PS.  For those of you interested in Toastmasters--you should check it out.  What an awesome organization and great group of individuals.

BONUS:  Feb 11, 2009 found me walking into the chemotherapy room for the first time...four years I am!  And although today found me on the couch because of debilitating pain due to the barometric pressure being low (thankfully this only happens with major systems)--I celebrate the gift of healing!