Thursday, May 26, 2011

Just a quick hello...

Have you ever had it when you were away from something for a bit and when you tried to return, you were a bit unsure where to start. Well, that is where I find myself tonight. It has been forever since I’ve blogged. Sometimes life has a way of interrupting….

When I returned home from conference, let’s just say there has been a few life circumstances that required my focus and time. This week has been spent in trying to regain some balance.

So, where to start…

How about with this pic:

"I fought like a girl and WON!!"

This picture was taken at the Avera Race against Breast Cancer the Saturday before my conference trip. The two gentlemen in the pic with me are my hubby and son. If you remember, I had every intention of running the 5K in this race, but my stamina and strength didn’t permit me to achieve this goal. So, all of you who have gone through treatment, please give yourself permission to set goals, but also give yourself grace when the goals need to be readjusted.  I was able to do the walk..and hoping that I can begin my attempt at training again soon.

Don’t you just love the saying on my shirt? When I decided to post this pic of me and my new t-shirt, I began thinking about what it means to win in the race against cancer. To me winning was having the bravery to face treatment, experiencing the love and support from others, and loving the second chance of living a life of no regrets!

Well, blogger friends, I have missed you and I have an afternoon blocked out this Saturday to catch up with reading your blogs…and hopefully an update from the conference.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I'm back...

The Colorado Christian Writer's Conference was a great learning experience...unfortunately life is a bit crazy right now, so my update will have to wait for a few days!  Hope all is well with my blogger friends and I can't wait to catch up with you all!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Stepping out of the box!

Just for the record...I am so stepping out of my box.  Off to Colorado I go for the Colorado Christian Writers Conference....I will resume posting next week!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Dancing with Mr. NED!

Thanks for your prayers! I am so blessed to still be dancing with Mr NED! (No Evidence of Disease) Today's PET scan was clear! Again, thanks everyone!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Another scan...

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.
~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

I have had such a blast these last few months…living life to the fullest! So, maybe that is why this past week has found me a bit frustrated…life after cancer feels like you are in a forever game of tug-a-war: Cancer vs Life. As I shared with my oncologists, cancer may have been part of my life, but it is not my life. Unfortunately, some symptoms have presented that warrant some medical testing. Doesn’t this ugly beast clearly know it is not welcomed?!?

So, this next Monday, I will be having another PET scan…just to make sure the ugly beast isn’t the cause of my pain and fatigue! The good thing is that I should have the results the same day.

I struggled with sharing this in bloggersland for a few reasons:

1. There are many women who are in a forever battle against this beast…so, really do I have any reason to complain about having to have a PET scan, when living with cancer is their life reality?

2. Sharing this makes me feel very vulnerable.

3. I hate that I bring concern and worry to my family and friends.

4. I don’t believe cancer has reoccurred, so it feels silly to share.

The reason I did share this in bloggersland:

1. It is human to find comfort knowing that someone else is struggling. There is a knowledge deficit concerning the physical, emotional and mental challenge of survivorship. Those of us who have chosen to blog about our journeys have a great privilege and responsibility to share all of our experiences (good or bad). I believe that sharing our journey can offer hope and encouragement to someone else. So, if you are struggling with the after effects of treatment, you are not alone…we understand…we care!

2. I believe in the power of prayer and I know that many of my blogger friends are awesome prayer warriors! My prayers are that I continue to keep my focus on God, trusting and believing in Him.

3. Plus, I just figured some of you would like to know, because friends share concerns.

Off to win this round!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Seeds of Dreams

I was looking for a quote for a project I am working on when I came across this quote:

You know a dream is like a river, ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you and never knowing what's in store
makes each day a constant battle just to stay between the shores.
And I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky.
I'll never reach my destination if I never try,
So I will sail my vessel 'til the river runs dry.
Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.

To what we put off 'til tomorrow has now become today.
So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tides.
-Garth Brooks
song The River co-written with Victoria Shaw

Before cancer, there were many times I let the burdens of life weight me down. With life responsibilities I felt like there was never enough hours of the day. Then bam! Cancer diagnosis…my world stopped…and then my life began again! I made a promise to God that if I lived through treatment (I seriously had my doubts), I would live a life for Him. In my pursuit of living a life for Him, I discovered a new dream. Before cancer, I never took the time to dream. (I enjoyed being a wife and mother—that was my only dream.) Slowly through the cancer treatment journey a seed was planted in my life garden. A seed to write. (There are many days I wonder if the wrong seed was planted in my garden. After all, I have had no writing training or experience, I am getting older and my life schedule is pretty full.) The last year this seed has grown into a seedling. Many times I have tried to dig up the seedling and throw it in the compost pile. However, the roots must be deep, as the plant (dream) keeps coming back and continues to grow. A few weeks ago, God watered this seed by providing an unexpected opportunity for me to attend the Colorado Christian Writers Conference next week. I can hardly believe it! At this time I don’t know if I am more scared or more excited. All’s I do know is that I am trusting and obeying!

Q. Have you had the seed of a dream planted in your life garden?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

A to Z challenge

 A great big thanks to Lee at Tossing It Out, Talli, Jen at Unedited, Candace at Misadventures in Candyland, Karen at Coming down the Mountain, Jeffrey at World of the Scribe, Stephen at Breakthrough Blogs. and Alex J Cavanaugh for moderating the A to Z Challenge!

I have had an absolute blast, challenging myself with the discipline to write every day, research God's word for wisdom and meeting some really awesome bloggers.  You have all enriched my life by your blogs and/or comments left on my blog.  I have been encouraged and stretched as a wanna be writer. 

In honor of the A to Z challenge.  I have taken all my words and written a some what disconnected story but I tried....

Abba, Abba, Thank you so much for healing me so that I have been able to participate in the A to Z bloggers challenge.

May the lessons that I have learned this past month be etched in my heart? Please help me to remember to choose You, unlike the crowd who chose Barrabus instead of Christ. Lord, I want to show courage in walking towards the destination that you have planned for me. Your word is such an encouragement, especially when we read about the lives of prophets like Elijah and Elisha.

Meeting other bloggers through this has been so much fun!

Lord, the last month or so I haven’t been feeling very good. When the fear of cancer return starts to creep in, I search your Word, which offers me such grace and hope. King Jehosophat had good qualities Lord, however he missed the mark, please help me live a life completely committed to you. With your help I can be a combination of Mary’s and Martha’s personalities, or I can be just me...working towards the balance of serving and listening. I was greatly encouraged by Nehemiah’s love and commitment to You, may my life be so?

Thank you for the book of Obadiah, a reminder that you are a God who judges those who have harmed his people.

Pardon me with my pprocrastination in my preparation for planning a proper quiet time. Since I haven’t been feeling well, my new reality will be spending extra time in rest and recovery.

Many tears have been shed because I believed the lies of being unlovable and unworthy, but what a transformation the truth of your Son’s (sonrise) victory has brought to my life.

What if I said good bye to the guilt and shame…and lived my life with Extraordinaire expectations of meeting you every day!

Today you can find me climbing down the tree like Zaccheaus, I’m the one shouting YIPEE!!

Another special thanks to all you who have read these blogs.  May you be blessed for blessing me!

The letter Z!

Z is for Zacchaeus!

Zacchaeus the Tax Collector from Luke 19

1 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

There are so many things that in this story that got my ol’ brain a pondering. Do you wonder why Zacchaeus wanted to see Christ so bad? And to climb a tree? How many grown men climb a tree, especially if they are in the upper class of society? One of the things that struck me was Christ’s reaction: It doesn’t say Christ condemned Zacchaeus, or scolded him, or guilted him…Christ just says, “Come.” And Zacchaeus responded. This story is just another demonstration of God’s grace when we repent. What a story of encouragement and hope!