Sunday, May 24, 2009 3:42 PM, CDT
Hi everyone! Hope you are all enjoying the Memorial Day holiday! Unfortunately this round of chemo hit me a bit harder…I have been taking many naps and thanking God for pain pills. Last evening as I made myself go for a walk around the block, I saw so many neighbors grilling with friends…I can’t wait to partake in this simple outing!
This past Thursday we were able to have a “future” discussion with my oncologists. Since I have continued to have back pain throughout my chemo, I will be having a PET scan when finished with chemo. (PET scans look to see if there is cancer any place else in the body.) I have also started having a side effect from this chemo, called neuropathy (basically numbness in the hands and feet). If this worsens, I may have to take a week off from chemo to try and let the nerves regenerate. (I really wanted to try and stay on schedule, but also don’t want to end up permanently disabled…so I will be a good girl and listen to what the doctor advises.) This Thursday, we will be meeting with the radiation oncologists to discuss if I need radiation or not. My family and I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom and guidance on this next phase.
I came across this quote yesterday—thought I would share:
"Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Grab life by the mane. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don't let what's wrong with you keep you from worshipping what's right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don't try to be who you're not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion."
- Mark Batterson
Hope you all have a great and safe Memorial Day! Thanks for the love and prayers! We appreciate you all so much!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 1:55 PM, CDT
Come One! Come All! Welcome to Thursday’s lightweight boxing championship!
Before we begin today’s event, let me introduce you to our competitors in the ring. In one corner you have the almighty Braxy (also known as Abraxene, a super strong chemotherapy agent). In the other corner you have Ms Kim (the MIGHTY BREAST CANCER WARRIOR.) We have now watched 7 weeks of competition between these two opponents. As the past few weeks have shown, Mr Abraxy is one tough dude! Ms Kim knows that when she steps in the ring, she’s going to get punched and knocked down. However, Ms Kim has learned to lean on the strength of others and a mighty God, so she is able to pick herself up and step in the ring one more time. We interviewed both contestants before this week’s match.
“Mr. Abraxy, why do you have to punch so hard? Ms. Kim’s a nice young woman, just doesn’t seem right.”
“I am one TOUGH dude, knocking out them BAD cancer cells, so me don’t got no choice but to knock the kind lady down. From what I have seen though, Ms. Kim’s a pretty tough chick so I know she will win this CHAMPIONSHIP!”
“Ms. Kim, why do you keep stepping in the ring? We have heard that it takes you days to recover, that you’re in a lot of pain and sleep your weekends away.”
“I keep stepping in the ring because I LOVE life and a few knock downs are a small price to pay for the CHAMPIONSHIP title. Besides, I have such a great team that keeps cheering me on, I can’t let them down!”
So, folks there you have it, with just ONE HAND of treatments left to go, Ms Kim is going to make a fist and punch out that bad ol’ cancer!
Thanks for letting me have a little fun sharing my thoughts the day prior to chemo treatment. Sometimes it is hard to keep stepping in the ring, but I keep reminding myself of the victory at the end of this journey! We appreciate your prayers as we meet with the radiation oncologists tomorrow, that God will direct the best possible treatment for me! Also, our grandson is expected to make his arrival within the next few weeks…please pray for a safe delivery!! What an exciting blessing in the midst of a “fighting match”—he’s going to make a great mascot for his grandma’s team!!
Have a great week and my love and prayers to you all!!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009 8:54 PM, CDT
As everyone who reads this knows, my family and I have fought many different battles since we were drafted into the breast cancer war. At our strategic planning meeting with the radiation oncologists last Thursday, it was suggested that we bring out the heavy artillery and radiate multiple sites on both breasts. Of course, Dr Erickson will be presenting our battle plan to the other officers, but at this time we are planning to start our attack 3-4 weeks after our current battle in chemo land. To be honest, I did shed a few tears when I heard that we must fight in one more battle before this war can be won. It was hard not to ask God how many more wounds must I endure before a victory over breast cancer is declared. I couldn’t help but think, isn’t it enough I have lost both breasts and my hair, suffered through nausea, aches and pains, without having to do radiation, too? In her book, Warrior Chicks, Holly Wagner gives this definition of a warrior: A warrior is one who is engaged aggressively in or experienced in battle. A warrior possesses the dedication money can’t buy. A warrior is someone who fights, not because of what she is getting out of it, but because of what she can give. A warrior is a solider with a “died for the cause” attitude. A warrior will do whatever it takes to ensure victory. A soldier signs up to join the fight; a warrior stays until it is finished. So, I wiped my tears, put on the armor of God and decided that I am a WARRIOR!! I am going to continue to fight this ugly enemy (cancer)…knowing that God has a great plan for my family and I. After all, He is the greatest General around!
This weekend I was blessed with a furlough…Ferlin had a landscaping project in Luverne, so I was able to hang out with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. What a great dose of medicine! Speaking of medicine, so far the advil continues to control the pain and the neuropathy hasn’t worsened. Unless something changes, I will be having treatment #9 this Thursday….only 4 more to go!!!
Thank you for your continued prayers, support, love and encouragement!
Ps…Ferlin and I are getting so excited about being grandpa and grandma real soon!!! Thanks for the prayers for a safe arrival of our grandbaby! Kalina continues to do well, just anxiously waiting!Our battles can either be a ceiling in our life or stepping stones to our future!!