Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Stubborn, Me?

So, my last blog was on banging my heading and being reminded to I feel like I am like the animal in the above picture.  I have the possiblity of an uterly amazing opportunity, but my insecurity, pride, and fear have been assisting my mind in coming up with all types of possible excuses.  My heart, though, is so overfilled with humbleness, thankfullness and pure joy!  (It could be a tough night sleeping!)

There are times in our lives where God is prodding and we  need to take the next step. 
Here's a glimpse of the conversation's that have been taking place my very jumbled up mind.

"But Lord," I say, "I am unworthy."--God reply's "there is no one that is worthy, that is the beauty of grace."

"But Lord," I say, "I am broken."--God reply's "yup, don't you think that is how you understand my love, through your brokeness.  It is within this brokeness you are real."

"But Lord," I say, "This is so far out of my comfort zone."--God reply's "I will be there with you."

"But Lord," I say, "I had cancer, what if it returns?"--God reply's "Would you still honor me if your cancer returns?" To which I reply "of course." God than says "Than what is the issue?"

"But Lord," I say....God says..."Enough but Lords, enough excuses--it is time to trust and time to get to bed!"

So, you can see...utter chaos in the peace in the heart!  I am going to continue to pray about this fantastic opportunity and will share with you all when I can...

Edited to add clarification:  Please know that the above conversation are just my thoughts against the truth of the Word as I have come to know it. (No, I don't actually "hear" God, but if I was having an actual conversation, I imagine it would go like the above...only so much cooler!! No offense is intended...)

1 comment:

Mary Aalgaard said...

I have thought conversations similar to that. God's peace in your decision making.