Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The journey up the mountain!

When I was done with cancer treatment, I thought I had reached the top of the mountain and the challenge was to find my way down.  One year later post treatment, I find that I climbing a new mountain that has a few meandering paths that appear to be taking me off my path. 
As I have shared with you all, the last month or so, has been challenging for me health wise.  Last week, I emailed the breast navigator for my oncology clinic, asking her when do I need to be concerned about certain symptoms or when can I just chalk it up to post treatment side effects.  Well, apparently I have enough variables showing up that I have raised some eyebrows and I am scheduled for a PET/CT scan this Thursday.  At first I wasn't too worried, but as the day gets closer, I am finding scanxiety creeping in.  It is so frustrating as my heart and mind know that God is in control and He is walking beside me...but to be honest it is hard not to have a bit of fear.  Thankfully, I have the scan at noon and appt with oncologists at 430, so I don't have to wait long for results.  The Lord is in control.  and I trust He knows my heart and how much I want to serve Him with my life.  (After all my mind feels like a gerbil on his wheel with how many ideas I want to explore (and hopefully implement) for providing support and encouragement to others who find themselves walking the cancer mountain.)

Ps.  I also have some really awesome blog topics that I can't wait to have some time to finalize and share with you all. 


Roxane B. Salonen said...

Kim, my heart is with you as you face the medical atmosphere again. It does seem like God has placed in your heart the desire to help others on the earth walk this journey. You are such a dear person and I'm going to be praying hard, Kim. It's hard not to be fearful but we are human, too. Just keep remembering that God already knows how it's going to turn out, and He DOES have it under control. He loves you so very much. Peace be with you in the coming days!

Mary Aalgaard said...

Of course, you'll have fear and anxiety over the surgery. We're humans afterall. I'm proud of you for naming your fears and accepting that you have them. Your anger, too. How much can one woman take. Again, I'm proud of you for sharing your story. I know it will help others.