Sunday, September 26, 2010

I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid I have never lived!

I think I am probable breaking "blogger" rules by reposting on yesterday's topic.  I can't help it.  It is on my mind and I feel a need to share.  The statement "I am not afraid of dying, I am afraid I have never lived!" is definitely impacting me.  It has haunted me since I heard it spoken at the symposium I attended yesterday.  What is really interesting that on Friday, I had lunch with my brother and the "death" topic came into our discussion.  His philosophy is that you start dying the day you were born and that he isn't afraid of death.  He stated, "Of course, I have not face the reality of death like you have, but that is my thoughts."  I shared with him that I thought he was blessed as I think one of the reasons many people are afraid of death is because they aren't living the life they desire. 
There seems to be a recurrent theme to my weekend, with two thoughts tugging at my heart.
1.  Am I living life?  For the most part, I believe I am living life and yes, like many cancer survivors, I have cancer to thank for my wake up call.  Instead of putting my dreams and desires on the back burner, they have moved up the front burner with the temperature turned up higher.  My biggest goal is to live a life honoring God and sharing His love with others.  As of now, the path seems to be leading to possible working with other survivors, along with possible some speaking/writing.  (Right now I can't say I have a clear direction, just taking the steps when prompted and continuing to pray for God's guidance and direction.)
2.  What can I do to help others LIVE?  As I look around my circle of friends, coworkers, and family, I see so many who are doing life, but not LIVING life.  Is there anything I can do to help encourage them to take the risk to explore their hidden dreams? 

Dear Lord,
Thank you for bringing an awareness to my life about LIVING!  Thank you for blessing me with a  brother who can share his heart and ask the tough questions. Thank you for tugging at my heart.  Now, I pray and ask for direction.  How can I use the words you have shared to help and encourage others, knowing that YOU desire for us all to develop the talents you have given us?  Thank you, Father, for the gift of life!

Q.  How about you, are living  today?


Marie said...

Kim, your post really speaks to me at a very profound level. The feeling has been heightened having survived cancer with the added pressure that what I’m doing with my life must have greater meaning if my survival is to be justified. This is something I struggle with hugely so thank you for making me feel less alone in the struggle.

Nancy said...

Kim, I never truly faced my mortality until my cancer diagnosis. Time truly is precious. I am certainly trying to find more meaning and purpose for how I spend my days. I hope my blogging and writing makes a small difference. Sounds like writing is a passion of yours as well.