Tonight I was going to write what I had hoped was to be an award winning blog for a scholarship to this summer’s Proverbs 31 She Speaks conference. From the She Speaks website "She Speaks is a life-changing conference for women of every generation seeking to explore the tug on her heart to reach out to the world for Jesus. Through She Speaks, Proverbs 31 Ministries encourages and equips women who are called by God to share our mission to bring God’s peace, perspective and purpose to today’s busy woman. Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but a remarkable responsibility. We believe by equipping women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, we multiply our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus." I was blessed by some individuals who believed in me, when I didn't believe in myself and was able to attend this conference last year. So, my intention this evening was to write why I would love the chance to attend again this year and share some of my experiences from last year. However, this evening I am finding it a challenge for my words to make sense. You see, my heart is heavy with concern and sadness for a few individuals who have recently had their cancer return. To be honest, my heart feels like it is breaking and all I really want to do is climb in my Father's lap. After He dries my tears, I want to ask Him why??? It really seems silly to want to write a fancy story for a contest, when you know there is someone who is having to endure a tough battle just so they can have another day of life.
However, I do feel prompted to enter the contest as I have been hearing the gentle whisper of the Lord to receive some speaker training. I totally cannot believe that I wrote the last sentence. Isn’t it so like God to call you to do something that you can only do if He steps in to assist? I have never spoken in front of a group. To be honest, I have never really had the desire to speak in front of group…that is until lately. Actually, I still don’t have the desire to speak. But I do have the greatest desire to spread hope to those who are broken and hurting.
- I want to share with others that God loves them, especially when they have believed the lie that they are unlovable and unworthy.
- I want to share how when I prayed to God and said, “Here is my life Lord, use it however you want…” and less than 8 hours later, I was diagnosed with an invasive breast cancer.
- I want to share with others how it was through the dark days of cancer treatment when I found healing…spiritually and physically.
- I want to share with others how only God can make a blessing come out of a mistake.
- I want to share with others how God can take a broken person and make them whole.
- I want to share with others how God stepped in and reconciled a marriage when the divorce papers were being signed. (Okay, I don’t know if I really want to share this as I will be forced to face my shortcomings, however I am getting the feeling that God maybe wants me to share parts of this story to encourage other women in their marriages.)
Well, there you have it. My mixed up words for tonight. It is time for me to take this heavy heart and teary eyes off to find some comfort in prayer and slumber.
For those of you interested in applying for the scholarship, here is the link.
Ps. please pardon any grammer/spelling errors...I am finding that my new "training" schedule is making me really tired, so a few head bobs going on...