Friday, November 5, 2010

Here we go again....

Have you ever had one of those moments where you thought "You've got to be kidding me?"  Well, that was my thought Tuesday morning when I noticed an increased swelling in my left "foob", under arm and back.  I placed a call to my surgeon and was referred to a physical therapist who specializes in lymphedema.  It turns out I have what is called truncal lymphedema.  (For those of you who are interested here is a good site that explains truncal lymphedema)  Thankfully we caught it quickly and with daily therapy for a few weeks, the lymphedema should be able to be managed. 

The thing that is most frustrating is trying to arrange these daily hour appts in a full work day. Plus the treatments have been making me feel "yucky" and really tired.  Thus, I have had to scale back on any other activities besides work and therapy.  (I was co-facilitating two LifeServe groups through our church and it just bums me that I need to temporarily "take a break.")

This morning I had a party, sorry, I didn't invite you as it was a "pity party" with only one guest allowed--and since it was my pity party--yup, the guest was me!  Now, I am not proud of my tears or frustration, especially since I am so thankful for my life and many, many blessings.  Once in a while, christian or not, pity party's happen to the best of us.  (Yes, I had a little quilt with this party, as I am very aware that there are many others who have a lot more challenging situations than I.)  My pity party did have  party crashers--the gremlins.  You know those little voices that say horrible things to you.  "What did you do now?"  "Your being punished."  "God is mad at you." "You can't do anything right."  In the past, I would have listened to the gremlins. However, during this pity party, I made a different choice.  I claimed God's word for my own and told those gremlins to boogie on out!! I am choosing to trust that God continues to have a plan...even if that means I go back to the couch for a bit more training!

 Praising and Thanking God!!


Roxane B. Salonen said...

Hey Kim, I'm bummed to hear you have had a bit of a setback here. God must think a lot of you to believe you can handle it and will continue to grow through it, as I know you will. Hang in there, pretty lady. You've got a lot to give. I'm sorry it means a slow-down but I believe God will provide more chances in due time. First things first, right?

Thanks for being such a sunny presence on my blog. I hope you have a restorative weekend...


JeMA said...

Dearest Kim,
I am so very sorry for your pain, your new diagnosis. Okay, so I think you deserved to have a little party. You know, get your feelings out, accept that this sucks, ask your questions about "Why Me". Good for you to just feel and it let it out.
I know you have a fighting spirit and a great calling from this painful place. Remember you are not alone.
Rest and be loved.