Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just an ordinary girl serving and an extraordinary God!


Hi everyone! I wanted to share an exciting contest offered by Lysa TerKeurst with Proverbs 31 Ministries (http://www.proverbs31.org/index.php) or (http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/). Here is a bit about She Speaks from their web site: Through She Speaks, Proverbs 31 Ministries encourages and equips women who are called by God to share our mission to bring God’s peace, perspective and purpose to today’s busy woman. Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but a remarkable responsibility. We believe by equipping women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, we multiply our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.

When I heard about this contest, I was so excited not only for the chance to enter the contest, but for the chance to share with others how Proverbs 31 Ministries has influenced and impacted my life. About ten years ago, my life began being blessed by this wonderful organization. Their magazines, web site and books (by authors who are part of their team) have helped shape and mold me into woman after God’s heart. Before I share why I would love the opportunity to attend the She Speaks conference, I would like to share a recent chapter in my life book.

Journal entry: Dec 7, 2008


“Dear Lord, I am yours; I am giving my life, my dreams and my hopes to You. Please use my life for Your purpose. I trust You and am ready to obey You.”


Six hours later…I was diagnosed with an aggressive, invasive breast cancer. With tears streaming down my face, my first thought was “Oh, God, I said You could use me, but with cancer? How can you use me when I am sick? Or if I die? What about my husband and children, Lord? Lord, I am a doer…I love serving others and helping with their needs, now I am going to be the needy one? One request, Lord, please help my family and I not to become bitter or to become angry, especially when we don’t understand. Help me trust. Help me to serve You in the midst of this unknown journey.”

When I had written the above prayer in my journal, before finding out the diagnosis, I thought God would be using my past experiences of being a mom with three children, losing a baby to miscarriage, or the challenges of marital separation and reconciliation. Or maybe God would use my brokenness through rejection and being unwanted; never, never, never… did I think I would travel the cancer road. Well, fifteen months later, the cancer chapter of my life is coming to a close; with its closure I am taking with me the greatest gift of all--the truth of the Lord!  You see, during treatment, I was bald, breastless, and not so pretty, yet for the first time in my life, I was beautiful! At the weakest point of my life with much sickness, debilitating fatigue, and horrible pain, I found freedom. At a time when I wasn’t able to care for myself, or anyone else, I finally believed that God loves me…for me. When I didn’t have anything left in me, there was finally enough room for me to accept and trust in the love of God.

Shortly after my diagnosis, I remember sharing with my family that I was satisfied in all areas of my life with one exception: The dream to write. (I had been so busy the last 20 years being a wife and mother; I hadn’t had time to dream.) Actually, until the conversation with my family, I didn’t even know writing was that strong of a dream until it popped out of my mouth on my list of regrets. Throughout treatment to keep our family and friends updated, I began journaling on caring bridge. This provided me with a wonderful opportunity to share our physical, emotional and spiritual experiences. I shared how God’s hand was touching us every minute, how His feet provided guidance, and how His arms carried us when we were too weak to walk. During the journaling, my dream of writing provided a source of healing.

Remember at the beginning of this blog, I shared what a positive impact P31 has had on my life? Well, I have one last story to share with you all. There were times when going through treatment I was discouraged, especially when the darkness of fear threatened my nights and the chances of reoccurrence appeared as a reality. During those times, I found myself going to the P31 website and dreaming of attending the She Speaks writer’s conference. I can’t count how many times I shared with my medical team, family and friends I just had to make it through treatment as I planned on going to a writing conference this summer…typically this would start a discussion about the She Speaks conference. It was exciting to share information about P31Ministries, She Speaks writing conference, my dreams of writing, and my goal of becoming a Proverbs 31 woman. Thank you to the P31 team for giving me a dream to focus on through some rather difficult days.

I was hoping by attending the She Speaks conference this summer, I would be able to receive some direction for this next chapter in my life book. What does God want me to do now? How can I best honor Him with my talents and gifts? Is writing even a dream that God has for my life? If so, what is the next step? Do I need to take some courses? (The last writing class I had was an English class in high school, 24 yrs ago.) What do I do with all these words that keep floating around in my head? So many questions...Although, I don’t have answers to these questions, I do know one answer: I am going to share God’s love with others by encouragement and offering them hope. With God’s help, I want to bring the His light into everyday living.

I am closing this blog with another journal entry (I haven't prayed this prayer since 12-7-08, a bit fearful, yet I am going to trust!)

Journal entry: March 25, 2010


“Dear Lord, I am yours; I am giving my life, my dreams and my hopes to You. Please use my life for Your purpose. I trust You and am ready to obey You.”

3 comments:

beyondbreastcancer said...

I stand in awe of your trust in the Lord Kim. What a powerful witness you are to your faith. I continue to be inspired by you and I am moved to pray this prayer right now - thank you!

Running the race said...

Kim, I found your website via Marie! The Power of Your Love God your dreams will happen gal I cannot believe how much we have in common. Never believing that this Cancer journey could really transform our souls! I would not change the person I am now becoming and I am 55!

Then when I saw the She Speaks on your website I was floored and so excited. Coincidence? No I think this was God. My daughter attended the She Speaks conference 2 years and has the same desires as you. She now works with She Speaks which is side group of Proverbs 31 ministry.

You have a beautiful site Kim!

Kerry ABOUT ME said...

Hey Kim!

I am struck by how alike we are. I used to ask God all the time, "why did you give me such a desire to write and I've never used it." I then got diagnosed with cancer and found myself blogging as well. Yet another strange "coincidence" I like to call Godincidences that have shaped my journey. I am thrilled to find your page and read your incredible story. I'll keep following to see what great and awesome places God takes you to. Honored to meet you, sister survivor,

Kerry Osborne