Saturday, November 14, 2009

Urrrrrggggghhhhh

When I was challenged by the physical burden of cancer treatment, I couldn't wait until I was able to rejoin life. Fortunately I have been able to rejoin the living fairly quickly, this week it struck me though....I have joined the race a little bit too much. I find it amazing how even though I have been trying to guard my schedule, I soon filled it up with so many events. While these events are all good things, my schedule has allowed very little time for inner healing. As I reflect on this past week, I am ashamed to admit that my busyness has allowed me to fall back into the pattern of making unhealthy lifestyle choices. I had very little time for meditation, God time, exercise, skipped meals and made unhealthy selections when I did eat....urrrrggghhhh, I promised myself I wouldn't do that on my road to healing. So, I am taking a stand and making tough choices. I am going to eliminate some of my obligations, delegate some of my household responsibilites and purposefully leave gray space on my calendar.

For the most part, I have been blessed in my healing journey, as I haven't been too oppressed by fear of reoccurance, but last night, I was struggling with the thought just a bit (probable do to my unhealthy choices of the past week)...so I took my fear, wrapped it up in a box (used pretty pink paper and a huge bow) and I handed this gift to the Lord. I let Him take my fear, so I no longer have the burden of carrying a load not intended for me. It makes me wonder how many other things that I am carrying unknowingly, that I need to give to Him.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and that you will find some time in your day to something that brings you JOY!!!

1 comment:

beyondbreastcancer said...

What a wonderful post Kim - this really resonated with me. Even now, five years later, my fear of recurrence resurfaces from time to time - I love your idea of wrapping it up in a box and handing it over. I must remember that next time, that old fear comes snapping at my heels :-)
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