Faking it...until you make it!

Last month I blogged about God Sized Dreams.  I am excited to share that hope.lives.now. website has been redesigned, a Facebook page created, along with brochures and an introduction letter. While it has been crazy busy finalizing these projects, my hope has been strengthened as I watch God work.  Just last week, God orchestrated the timing of a Hope Basket perfectly...and He is so into the details of what goes in these baskets.  I had purchased a variety of CD's to put in the Hope Baskets and to my delight...the CD I put in this particular basket had special meaning to the recipient...all I can say is, "Only God!"

Now, it is time to be a bit more honest with you...what I am going to share with you next, isn't exactly what I would call a "dream." But it is a direction that I feel being led to...after many months (okay, years) I took a huge step, which was prompted by whispers I could no longer run from.  As I have mentioned previously, in October 2012,I joined Toastmasters. Two weeks ago, I had to give my first speech, the "ice breaker."  This speech is a 4 to 6 minute speech about yourself.  Shouldn't be that hard, should it?  Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking when I joined this organization.   It must have been the "chemo brain."  I tell ya...I was so...nervous, I almost  didn't show up to the meeting....that was until I remember my friend Jess's advice, "Kim--at times in life you have to fake it, until you make it!"  So, I gave myself a good ol' pep talk and gave the speech.  Yes, I was scared.  Yes, I could have done and said some things better (clearer.)  But you know what?  I did it...and I was so proud of myself.  Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, when faced with fear...I ask myself the question "If you don't do it, will you regret it?"  I knew that if I didn't do my speech, I would not only regret it, I would also feel like I let God down.  You see...for reasons I can't fully explain, I know that He wants me to learn the skill of public speaking.  So...I'm trusting and doing! (Even when I am afraid!)

PS.  For those of you interested in Toastmasters--you should check it out.  What an awesome organization and great group of individuals.

BONUS:  Feb 11, 2009 found me walking into the chemotherapy room for the first time...four years later....here I am!  And although today found me on the couch because of debilitating pain due to the barometric pressure being low (thankfully this only happens with major systems)--I celebrate the gift of healing!

God-sized Dreams

HAPPY 2013!!

Tonight I came across a blog post at toodarnhappy.com.  The title of her post invited me to hop over to her blog...which prompted me to hop over to holleygerth ....which prompted me to write a blog post.  Are you ready for the title? God-sized Dreams. 

Intriguing...

62% of us make New Year's Resolutions. 

I wonder what our world would be like if we instead we asked what is my God-sized Dream this year?

              A God-sized Dream = A desire in your heart for more of what God has for you.

I love what Holley shares in this post:

"You see, God-sized dreams aren’t about being perfect. Or getting what we want. Or things working out the way we plan.

I can tell you this, on your God-sized dreams journey…

You will feel fear.

You will fail at some point.

And you may even find that you have to let a dream go.

But I can also tell you, on your God-sized dreams journey…

You will become more courageous.

You will have victories you never through possible.

And you will be filled up with what you really need, which is less of you and more of Jesus in your life.

God-sized dreaming isn’t for wimps.

But at the same time it’s really only for wimps.

Because we all are exactly that. We’re weak and broken and afraid. And we’re also strong and whole and filled with the resurrection power of Christ.

We are living paradoxes and nothing will show you that more than a God-sized dream.

If you’re looking at all this God-sized dreams stuff with a bit of skepticism can I just whisper, “It’s okay to feel that way. But dare to come with us anyway. Not because of where you will go but because of where this journey will take you…and that’s closer to the heart of God.”'

So now, I am inspired...and motivated....

What is my God sized Dream for 2013?

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought..."OK--you just got dealt bad card.  Play the card you have been dealt. Get back to life."  Oh, how I tried to get back to the life I used to live.  So, many times I have pushed and pushed, only to fall flat on my behind.  You see, I am not supposed to go back to my old lifestyle.  I believe I have scars across my chest, along with ongoing pain and fatigue--so I remember.  I remember the long nights where only the hope of God's promises gave me the strength to hold on till mornings light. I remember the mornings of chemotherapy, crying to my husband--"I don't think I can do this!" And although the I remember the "tough" things the thing I most remember is that God provided--in so many remarkable ways.  Hope came in so many fashions--cards, phone calls, words of encouragement, comments left on my caring bridge.... Now, looking back at the last few years, I can see God's hand and guidance. But like Holley shares when God gives you a God sized Dream--you will have fear.

But I am saying NO to this fear in 2013--after all if you can do chemotherapy, I believe you can do almost anything!  -- in

My God sized Dream is to expand the ministry of hope.lives.now. Hope.lives.now. is a ministry that offers support and encouragement to individuals who find themselves in an unexpected health crisis.  This ministry is a "work in progress" and I am excited to see how God leads us through the next steps.    

How about you--do you have any God sized Dreams for 2013?

If you do, please leave a comment and I will add your God sized Dream to my prayers.