Since I am short of time and energy, I am going to post my caring bridge entry here:
To think it was a year ago today that I heard the words that started my family and I on a journey that has forever effected our lives. A journey that is still being traveled, with still unanswered questions…a journey many of you have walked beside us with, blessing us with your love, care and prayers.
I thought I would share a few of my thoughts on this anniversary day.
BLESSINGS: I am alive! I am loved! I have the greatest family, friends, faith community, and medical community!
THINGS I HAVE LEARNED: I have learned that I am a very blessed woman. I have learned that there can be peace amongst challenges. I have learned that courage doesn’t come from an absence of fear, but an abundance of faith. I have learned to trust in God. I have learned there is no sweeter sound than the laughter of a grandchild. I have learned there are so many beautiful women who are also being challenged by breast cancer. I have learned to dream!
CHALLENGES: Pain is a constant nuisance that challenges my days, thankfully not really limiting my activities…just a bit wearing. Fear is my companion that I carry in my back pocket. Most to the time I am able to sit on this fear and keep it contained…however there are times when the fear escapes from my pocket…mainly at night when I am all alone and the house is quiet…I work hard at reminding myself that 33% chance of reoccurrence is actually 67%chance of being cancer free. So, I take this ugly word “fear” and put it in a box, wrap it with some pretty paper and a big pink bow and give it to God. So, thankful that He takes the gift from me and gives me a gift in return—peace.
Speaking of peace, recently I was reading a novel by Lisa Wingate called Word Gets Around, here are a few segments from the book that really touched my heart…
Have you been battering the same barriers over and over and over, thinking the answer lay in breaking through and leaving the past behind? Maybe the answer isn’t getting beyond where you come from but in learning to accept things that went into your making. Maybe the secret is in looking at the end product and figuring out what its good for…maybe the point of life isn’t in getting past it, but making something of it! In the last paragraph of the novel…Peace doesn’t lie in all that we run to, in the independence we struggle to maintain, in the things we embrace that don’t embrace us in return. It is not in the noise of the world, but rests in the quiet place we last look. It waits until we stop running, stop battling the fences, stop searching outside and look toward the center. There in the very heart of who we are and what we were created to be, we find it-the greatest thing in this world or the next, the very essence of God.
On a quick end note, the other evening Ferlin and I were blessed with a gift from some friends to go see Glenn Beck’s Christmas Sweater Performance. I will admit, I was only going to please my husband, as I am not into politics, etc…so I didn’t really think I would get much out of it. WRONG: Mr Beck did a wonderful presentation on redemption. I walked out of the theatre wishing that everyone could receive the blessing of the Christmas Sweater. So, if you’re a reader, check out the book and let me know your thoughts. I have to share one quick last note…this was kind of an “oh my goodness moment”—At the end of the show Mr Beck says “V is either for victim or victor—we get the choice!”…a year ago, when I went to the front during church, announcing our breast cancer journey and asking for prayers, I remember stating that I was not only a breast cancer survivor, but a VICTOR, as in Christ we all can claim VICTORY!!
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE, CARE AND SUPPORT!!