Faking it...until you make it!

Last month I blogged about God Sized Dreams.  I am excited to share that hope.lives.now. website has been redesigned, a Facebook page created, along with brochures and an introduction letter. While it has been crazy busy finalizing these projects, my hope has been strengthened as I watch God work.  Just last week, God orchestrated the timing of a Hope Basket perfectly...and He is so into the details of what goes in these baskets.  I had purchased a variety of CD's to put in the Hope Baskets and to my delight...the CD I put in this particular basket had special meaning to the recipient...all I can say is, "Only God!"

Now, it is time to be a bit more honest with you...what I am going to share with you next, isn't exactly what I would call a "dream." But it is a direction that I feel being led to...after many months (okay, years) I took a huge step, which was prompted by whispers I could no longer run from.  As I have mentioned previously, in October 2012,I joined Toastmasters. Two weeks ago, I had to give my first speech, the "ice breaker."  This speech is a 4 to 6 minute speech about yourself.  Shouldn't be that hard, should it?  Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking when I joined this organization.   It must have been the "chemo brain."  I tell ya...I was so...nervous, I almost  didn't show up to the meeting....that was until I remember my friend Jess's advice, "Kim--at times in life you have to fake it, until you make it!"  So, I gave myself a good ol' pep talk and gave the speech.  Yes, I was scared.  Yes, I could have done and said some things better (clearer.)  But you know what?  I did it...and I was so proud of myself.  Ever since I was diagnosed with cancer, when faced with fear...I ask myself the question "If you don't do it, will you regret it?"  I knew that if I didn't do my speech, I would not only regret it, I would also feel like I let God down.  You see...for reasons I can't fully explain, I know that He wants me to learn the skill of public speaking.  So...I'm trusting and doing! (Even when I am afraid!)

PS.  For those of you interested in Toastmasters--you should check it out.  What an awesome organization and great group of individuals.

BONUS:  Feb 11, 2009 found me walking into the chemotherapy room for the first time...four years later....here I am!  And although today found me on the couch because of debilitating pain due to the barometric pressure being low (thankfully this only happens with major systems)--I celebrate the gift of healing!