Monday, December 24, 2012

Four years--yipee!!



December 24, 2008, I was having the surgery that began my cancer treatment journey.  December 24, 2012,  I am praising God for the breath of life and Thanking HIM for all of you!!!  4 years--yipee!!  A great big, heartfelt Thanks to all of you who have shared your love, kindness and support during this journey.  Blessings and Merry, Merry Christmas!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Pondering...

So...I am continuing in my pondering....

Took this pic on an afternoon walk...




The Bench

Be Still and Listen!

The Bridge

One Step At A Time!

The Door

A surprise...
                                                    Waiting to be Opened!


Monday, December 3, 2012

4 years ago....


Hi everyone! Well, it has been awhile since I've updated this blog.  To be honest, I was struggling with what to say.  The last few months have found me searching, seeking, and healing.  I tell you, NO ONE prepares a person for life after cancer. 

It was 4 years ago, that I heard the words, “You have an invasive, aggressive breast cancer.” My world was rocked. I thought my life was over.  But God (in His glory) had different plans. 

Although the road to recovery is taking me much longer than I expected, I wouldn't trade the journey of the last four years for anything. For in this journey, I experienced God’s truth and hope.  I love this sentence from Dan Allender’s Book To BeTold, “True hope stares down pain and fear and waits expectantly for God to appear.” 


Yes, I experienced pain. 
Yes, I experienced fear. 
Yes, I saw God appear!

For those of you who are newly in the cancer journey….have HOPE! 

Cancer will change your life—some for the good, some for the not so good. But, you CAN do it!!  (Even if/when you have to do it afraid.)  My best advice is to allow yourself to ask questions and permission to any feelings you may have—whether it is sadness, anger, joy, or gratitude. If you have tears—let them out! If you have laughter—enjoy! It is your journey…walk it any way you want…but just remember, keep walking.  It is so sad to see someone who gets “stuck” in their cancer journey. I guess, to me, cancer is a chapter of my life story, but not the whole book. 

Which leads me to the main reason for this blog post, the last few months I have been struggling not only with some of the physical side effects of treatment (like having to have my 3rd root canal this year and ongoing fatigue/pain), financial setbacks due to the cost of treatment and ongoing appointments, but I have been struggling a bit emotionally, too.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I have a great life. I have awesome family and friends, along with an amazing job.  Maybe that is why I am frustrated to find myself trying to tackle the question of “Now, what?” How can I live a life of “no regrets?” What does it look like to not sleep walk through the remainder of my days?

After some self-evaluation, it seems as if I have many ingredients but don’t know what recipe I am cooking. Am I making breakfast, lunch or supper? Or am I to be making the snack, or dessert?

Last week, I took some time off from work to visit my daughter in Montana. I was hoping that the change in scenery and daily schedule would help me find my recipe.  Although that didn't happen…I have a feeling I am to be making a dessert.  (or maybe breakfast…for sure one of these two, as they are my favorites J)

A few things I do know…
  • I love to blog and do foresee continuing that in the future.  Hopefully, after the first of the year, I will be able to share a new and exciting direction that I am taking my blogging. 
  • I need to regain my strength, endurance and energy.  I do well if I keep careful tabs on my schedule.  (Unfortunately, this means, I have to say No, more than I get to say Yes.)
  • Don’t ask me why (as I don’t have an answer) but I feel the need to gain some speaking skills, so I joined Toastmasters in October.  Although, public speaking is a bit frightening, I am excited for this opportunity.
  •  Hope Lives Now! I have struggled if we should continue this organization or not??  In sharing with others, there seems to be a need, but also it takes funds.   I am contemplating if we should seek a non-profit status and do more active fundraising.  Every day, I hear of more and more individuals struggling with cancer and/or other challenging health conditions.  It just breaks my heart and I so wish we could offer hope and encouragement to them all.
So we will see....

There are no words that could ever thank each and every one of you for your kindness, love and support these past 4 years.  May God bless you!

PS.  A few of you have asked about my back and neck pain, we have gotten it under control enough that I was able to discontinue physical therapy. (My home stretching program helps greatly.)

PSS. In case you are interested in health and wellness, I blog on Thursdays at Be Well South Dakota

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Results



With great humbliness, excitement and praise, I am thrilled to share with you that the PET scan came back all clear!  Also, I had my six month follow up my appointment with my oncologist...and all is good!

Sorry--time doesn't permit much more for tonight!  Thanks so much for your prayers!  Much appreciated!!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

PET scan, really?

Four years ago this month...I had a mammogram that was normal. 

One month later, I heard those life changing words "I am sorry but you have an invasive, aggressive breast cancer."

Thus began the journey...that has brought me here today.  I first started blogging to share my healing journey--hoping to provide support and encouragement to others who find themselves on this walk.  I will be honest, as I get further out from treatment, sharing the "journey" struggles in cyberspace are proving to be a bit more difficult.  After all, I am sick and tired of the potholes on this recovery path, so I figure others must be sick of reading it. 

However, I feel that I must continue to share...because I know that the long term effects of cancer treatment (good and bad) aren't often discussed and maybe some other concerned (and/or frightened) survivor can be reassured.

Some of you have asked about the neck pain, while the pain continues (kind of comes and goes)...it has let up a bit.  However, there is still enough of a concern, so I (finally) scheduled a PET scan.  It is for tomorrow morning at 7:30.  I will admit, I get a bit frustrated with having to do scans.  But, I am thankful we have this tool for diagnostic purposes.  Not sure when I will receive the results, but will post an update when I get them. 

I have a little sticky on my computer that reads:
"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.  For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.  He will neither fail you nor abandon you."--Deut 31:6

I'm not too worried about the scan, but I am human...and when the carpet is pulled out from under you once, you need things like God's word to provide comfort and reassurance.  So, I am going into the scan--Knowing.Trusting.Believing--God has gone before me and paved the way.  I just need to let go and trust!

Thanks for continuing to share this up and down journey with me!

PS.  Oh--and if your interested, I today I blogged about breast cancer awareness at Be Well South Dakota.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Be Well South Dakota

Just sharing that I am so excited to be part of a new blogging adventure, Be Well South Dakota.  We are a team of bloggers who will be blogging about our health and wellness journey.  We hope to inspire and educate residents of our great state to become a healthier state, one step at a time.

Our site has been up and running for a few weeks, if you have time...check out our vlog at  Welcome to Be Well South Dakota.

If you visit the site, don't forget to subscribe so you too can be inspired on your wellness journey!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

All is Good...

My hair stylist has been out on maternity leave for three months, so there was much to catch up on my appointment last week.  Conversation went like this:

Erin:  How has things been going?
Me: Good

Erin: How is work going?
Me: Busy, but good

Erin:  How is your hubby?
Me: A bit discouraged about the dry weather, but otherwise good.

Erin: How is your daughter out in Montana?
Me: She started classes and she is doing good.

Erin: How is your grandson?
Me: He started a new daycare and preschool, but he is good.

Erin: And your son?
Me: He is working full time and taking college courses on line...and he is good.

Erin: And your youngest daughter?
Me: She just celebrated her 17th birthday and she is doing good.

What a blessing...All is good!!

This past weekend, I attended the Refine Conference.  What a wonderful, heart pricking event.  I am still processing many of the things I heard and learned...but rest assured...it is all good!

PS.  I still continue to struggle with on going neck and back pain, this could be part of my new "normal" from the mastectomy and radiation...but...the biggest question I am being asked by my health care professionals...should we do a PET scan?  I struggle with doing another scan, because I believe God healed me and I just think this pain is from over exercising and possibly a hectic schedule the last few weeks.  However, maybe it is time to just eliminate that concern?  I will keep you posted....but for right now...I am still claiming....ALL IS GOOD!

Monday, September 3, 2012

Book Review: Let's Write A Short Story

A new feature that I am hoping to accomplish on my blog is to share some of the great books I have been reading.  This week, I am going to share with you a book written by Joe Bunting.

Before reading the book Let's Write a Short Story, I didn't really even know what made a short story. Mr. Bunting's book helped educate, informe and encourage me on my quest in learning the craft of writing. After reading the book (and doing some of the practice applications):
  • I now know what makes up a short story
  • I have some great resources on publication possibilities
  • I have set a few goals
  • I have a clearer understanding in the unique world of writing
Let me share a few highlights of this great book:
  • A challenge to write a short story every week
  • Rejection is a badge of honor and by writing short stories I will be rejected sooner than if I wait until I submit a novel.
  • That the privilege of being a writer is capturing the world's stories and putting them in a form that can be shared.
  • Great guidelines on the how to write a short story.
  • To be accountable and share on my blog that I intend to write a short story by the end of the month. (YES!)
I loved the easy to read style of this book, along with the tools shared on how to launch a career, become a better writer and small, practical steps towards publications.  Not only is there practical tools and application steps, Joe has sprinkled encouragement throughout the book. At the end of the book, Joe shares many resources which I can't wait to check out.  This is one "craft" book, I will be referring and recommending often. Thanks Joe for helping a newbie learn.




Sunday, September 2, 2012

Total Indulgence with Beauty on a Budget!

Just sharing:

Before I begin, let me share with you, I have never been to a spa, nor have I had a pedicure, manicure or message.  Such luxuries have been something that I have never had the opportunity to indulge in...

So, if you are like me, or if you are just wanting to save some bucks...let me share with you my spa night at home:

Last week, one of my coworkers shared a leg scrub that she had found online.  Last evening, I had an unexpected hour to myself, so I thought I would try it out.

Step by Step Saturday Night Spa at Home


First thing:

I mixed up the body scrub:
1 1/4 cup of sugar

1/2 cup of oil


5 tsps fresh lemon or lime
 After I mixed up the scrub, I collected the other necessities for a spa night at home:

Along with a beverage...last nights choice a glass of wine (if weather was cooler, I would have had a cup of decaf tea.)

Some chocolate

 A candle and flowers
Some Kari Jobe


A tub

Lots of bubbles

My favorite for soaking away my aches and pains

Finished with some lotion...adding just a bit of "smelly" lotion to finish off the experience.



My steps for my spa night was that I mixed up scrub.  Took a shower and washed my hair.  Added Conditioner and left it in.  Ran my tub water.  Soaked for five minutes. (Since I don't have a clock in my bathroom, I soaked for one song.)  I shaved one leg.  Added scrub.  Rinsed off scrub.  Shaved leg again.  Repeated same process on other leg.  Drained water out of tub.  Used remainder of scrub for an all over body scrub.  Started shower and rinsed hair and scrub off of body.  Dried off.  Applied lotion 

I was amazed at how smooth the scrub made my skin....total indulgence!  (And very little cost!)

Question:  When was the last time you have had an indulgent moment?  Or do you have any beautiful budget tips to share?






Thursday, August 30, 2012

Ponderings....

Ponderings....
 
So, a few weeks back I was spending some quiet time...reading blogs...praying....thinking...and came across a conference that is being held in Minneapolis in a few weeks.  Do you remember a few weeks back when I shared the book Overcoming the Nevers by Teri Johnson? (Her website is Keeping It Personal .)  Well, Teri is the coordinator of the a conference called the Refine Conference.  Have you ever read something and felt little butterflies in your tummy?  Well, when I first read about the Refine conference, I could hardly contain the butterflies.  (I was so excited, I was sure I was going to fly off the couch.) Should I be embarrassed to admit that I can recite the program, speakers and break out sessions?  After my initial excitement, reality settled in...as much as I wanted to go to the conference, timing and budget constraints were two big hurdles.  So...I thought to myself, "just because it doesn't appear you will be able to attend, it looks like a wonderful opportunity and I started to share the information with friends and on my facebook."   And, I subscribed to Teri's blog....Soon I found myself thinking "Seriously....only God"...
 
The first post update I received was written by Carey Scott from Carey Scott Talks.  I absolutely love Carey and have been following her blog for some time.  How cool that the first blog post I read from Keeping it Personal was an author that I have read many times.
 
 
 The next day the post was from Elizabeth Hagen. Elizabeth is a nationally recognized business coach, professional speaker, organization expert, and author.  Since Elizabeth resides in my local area, I have also been a follower of her blog.  How exciting to see she was a guest blogger for Keeping it Personal.
 
Every day I anticipated reading the blog posts from Keeping It Personal...these women were speaking just the words I needed to hear.  Shortly, there after, when lunching with a good friend, I mentioned this conference to her...thinking it might be of interest to her.  I sent her the website.
 
After the neck pain started to increase, I put all thoughts of attending this conference in the back corner. Then....last week, I found out that the plans I had for the weekend of this conference were cancelled.  This week, through therapy (and prayers) the neck pain is decreasing....and last evening, my friend called and asked if I was still interested in attending the Refine conference?? 
 
 
 
 For those of you who have no idea what the refine conference is:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The REFINE Woman's Conference -- Sept. 21 and 22, 2012, DoubleTree by Hilton Bloomington Minneapolis South -- Come as you are, take your next step with purpose.
Description: WOMEN --> YOU are invited to COME as you are! Join us as we keep it
personal with ourselves, others, and God seeking to REFINE our lives
emotionally, spiritually, financially, professionally, in health and
wellness, and in relationship.
 
...
 
Our desire for you is to walk away from these two days feeling renewed and encouraged.
 
Our goal is that your heart will be fulfilled, your mind inspired, and your soul nurtured no matter where you might be on life's journey to... take
YOUR next steps with purpose.
 
Overcome. REFINE. Become.
 
 
If I could have ever designed a conference for survivors, it would be one just like this.  Just look at these break out sessions:
                                                                          Financial
Emotional
Health/ Wellness
Professional
                                                                           Spiritual
Relational
 
Recently I read these words in the book To Be Told by Dan Allender.
 
One wise person said anonymously, "Adversity introduces us to ourselves."  And adversity comes in too many forms to number.  It is the diagnosis of cancer that throws us face to face with mortality.  Seeing the real possibility of death creates a  newness and drama and calls most people to rewrite the story they previously had assumed was the dominant plot of their life.  The introduction to ourselves can also come in the upheaval of unwanted change--tragedy that disrupts the status quo and compels attention, focus, engagement, and choice.  This change drives us to write what we really want to say, because we have only a few blank pages left and little ink in our pen.
 
Tonight finds me pondering...and writing this blog...praying...listening (and nibbling on this special treat from Jema....which just so happens to be in desk drawer for emergency pondering sessions...)
 
Tonight is the last night to register and receive the discount....still pondering...to be continued....
 
Question:  When faced with opportunities like conferences, how do you decide which ones to attend?

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Surprise and Blessing!

Before I update you on my doctor's appointment and lingering neck pain, I want to share with you a special surprise and blessing from this past week.

We met through our blogs a few years back...I was inspired by her words and her art--she liked my realness.  We lived miles apart, never did I think we would meet in person.  She took a detour on her trip to Rapid City--and I had a delightful surprise!



We chatted like long lost friends, barely coming up for air...practically skipping hello's to sharing our past and hopes for our future.  What a privilege to introduce you to my blogger and now "real life" friend Jennifer (Jema).  Jennifer is a beautiful wife, mother of 4, artist and in her spare time you can find her blogging at Studio Jema.  Our time together was precious...a blessing and memory I will forever cherish.


Jema blessed me with some of her beautiful art work.

Here's a pic of where I placed my new treasure!

Thank you Jema for sharing your time, your story, and your dreams.  My prayers are with you and your family as you "Inspire to Inspire!"

Question:  Care to share one of your surprise moments?

Oh, almost forgot--doctor's appt. 
I did labs--normal! 
She gave me some muscle relaxant--pain decreasing!
PET scan was ordered--I asked to postpone for a week or so.
Physical therapy to start on Friday.
Boot camp--on hold! (bummer)



Sunday, August 19, 2012

The three F's--Failure, Fatigue and Fear

"Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, in as much as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid."--John Keats

If a picture is worth a thousand words...

Well....let's just say--I over did it the months of April, May, and July...so the last few weeks, I have felt like our poor back yard--dead, with the only thing growing--weeds.

So, I cleared my calendar...and this is how I have been spending my spare time:






Why, oh, why? Remember, boot camp?  Well, it was really good for me, however...I am finding out, even good things can tip the balance scale.  Five weeks ago, I noticed my neck starting to hurt, which led to my back hurting, which led to headaches, which led to increase in fatigue, due to pain waking me up at night.  Now, I am pretty sure that this pain is related to over training, but to reassure some concerned family members, I do have an appointment at my oncologists office this week. 

A few weeks ago, due to the pain, I significantly decreased the intensity of my exercise workouts.  At first, I felt like a failure and was real disappointed in my body and it's lack of ability. Mr. Keats words helped me realize that my inability to do boot camp, doesn't mean I am a failure...it just means, (at this time) I have to avoid the intensity. So, for now, my exercise routine consists of daily stretching and walking for at least 30 minutes.   

I share this recent bump in the road, to offer encouragement to other survivors who find themselves struggling with some of the limitations and frustrations which can come after cancer treatment.  Many of us are walking in uncharted waters, without much guidance on "life after treatment."  By sharing our collective experiences in cyber world, we can help each other.

With my recent neck/back pain...I really struggled with some questions--
1) Who should I  call for advice? My internist or my oncologist?
2) The rule of thumb after cancer is the 2 week rule, if something still hurts after 2 weeks, we are to notify our physician.  However, I find this rule isn't always "cut and dry." For instance, last year I had planter fascitiis--cancer in the heel is very unlikely. This spring I had shin splints--again cancer here very unlikely. Now, I have the back pain--again, I think it is due to over training...but with the cancer history--it brings questions??

Now, most days...I seldom think about cancer.  Cancer is part of my life history, but it doesn't make up my life.  That is why the other evening...I was caught  off guard when my mind decided to pay a visit to Uncle Fear.  You see, I thought Uncle Fear was dead and buried, but when your body and soul are dry...fear, like the ugly weeds in our yard, seems to grow best in the dry conditions especially when fertilized with fatigue.  Thankfully, my visit with Uncle Fear was only a few minutes, as I quickly kicked him out of my mind and instead enjoyed a cup of tea with God's word.  For I have learned, it His Word that comforts me and reminds me...

"For I know the plans I have for you, " says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Question:  What refreshes you during a dry season? or comforts you when you have fear? 

Friday, August 10, 2012

5 minute Friday

Even though it has been awhile, do you remember the game? 

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::

Connect…

What a perfect word for the place I am in my healing journey.  I love to connect with others...whether it be my coworkers first thing in the morning, my friends or my family.  Seriously, I think  if visiting with others could be a career...I would be at the top of the that ladder. There is nothing I like better than connecting with others and sharing in their life. I love to hear the stories and cherish the memories.

However, there is one person I often fail to connect with...myself.  Like so many others, I often get too busy.  Between work, family, friends and other social obligations, it is difficult to connect with myself.  So, maybe that is why I have had an increase in body pain...it is my body saying, "ENOUGH.  We miss you!  Please take the time to connect with yourself." 

The last few weeks, I have been more intentional with "inking in" an appointment with "MYSELF"....so I could connect with me--which for me always includes connecting with HIM! 
My prayer for you this weekend--may you find time to connect with yourself and our Heavenly Father!

Q. Have you been able to connect with yourself lately?

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Exciting Offer by Teri Johnson


Oh, blogger friends are you all in for a special treat! 

I am excited to share with you a special offer made by  Teri Johnson, the author of Overcoming the Nevers.


You may order Overcoming the Nevers through her website and receive a 50% discount!

Here’s the link: http://keepingitpersonal.com/overcoming-the-nevers/

The Coupon Code: Karen

Signed Soft-cover Copy with the code is $7.50 + Priority Mail Shipping of $5.99 = total $13.49

Ebook delivered immediately = $4.00

A great big thank you to Teri for her generosity!



Monday, August 6, 2012

From Failure to Overcoming the Nevers

If we aren’t failing, then we aren’t doing anything interesting.
Expect failure. Better yet, embrace failure.
~Kristine Lamb


Today, I read the above words from a fellow blogger, Kristine Lamb…and they gave me courage to hop on this blog and write something…anything…to get over the fear of failing. You see, I look at my last post update, and I get so disappointed in my lack of discipline in posting on a more regular schedule. Kristine talks more about discipline and fear post today called “Unlocking Your Great Future—5 Keys to Writing Success.”

Since I last posted, I have had many blog posts written in my mind, but time didn’t permit me to sit long enough to share the words and stories…

From creating simple memories like watering my flowers with my 3 year old grandson, while family and friends enjoyed a game of croquet in our backyard to some grander memories like sharing an adventure with my two daughters, I have had an enjoyable summer.

However this past month, just being honest and sharing, I have been struggling. While I was busy creating memories, pain and fatigue crept back into my life. As, often happens, they bring their buddy fear with them. I keep telling them, I don’t have time for their visit—but I think they like me, as they just don’t want to leave. Except fear, that is…he stepped one foot into my mind and when I started reading God’s word to him—you should have seen him run. So, the last few weeks, I cleared my schedule—limiting my time to family and work, decreasing the intensity of my exercise schedule…and increasing my awareness of proper nutrition and sleep, hoping that pain and fatigue will discover they are NOT welcome here.

One good thing about taking the time to rest, I have had been able to spend a little more time reading. On Saturday, I was reading a blog post on Karen Ehman’s site. She introduced us to Teri Johnson. Teri is the President and Founder of Keeping It Personal (www.keepingitpersonal.com) a company that specializes in self-development training and discovering your life purpose and The Refine Conference for Women (www.therefineconference.com). (Conference is in Minneapolis, MN…so close, yet so far…definitely something on my “to do” list next year.) Teri is also the author of the newly released book, Overcoming the Nevers. I spent the last few days with Teri, her web site and her book. Even though I have only read the first three chapters of her book, the message Teri share’s is helping give me the tools to move forward…towards leading a life God has called me. I will share more as time and energy permits. If you are interested in a personal growth book—you definitely need to read this book.

Q. What new book have you discovered this summer?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Boot Camp Update

There is so much to share that it is hard to know where to start...so I think I will start with an update on the famous boot camp!  The first of May, my coworkers and I joined a twice a week boot camp.  I wonder if we knew our muscles would be screaming at us for days after our work out, would we have joined?  About three weeks into our adventure, I had had it!!  Boot camp is on Monday's and Friday's. 

Well, it was the 3rd Friday, I remember thinking some pretty naughty words about the things our instructor was asking us to do...yah, like right?  What do you think I am? A monkey who is on steroids? Okay...honestly...I was thinking..."You have got to be .....kidding me!"  My body hurt!  And I was very discouraged.  No matter how much effort I put out, I was still the last one done.  I was hot! I was sweaty!  It was gross!  Crawling to the locker room, I found myself saying...no more...I can't do it!! 


The following Monday, I was prepared to talk to the instructor and quit! 
Now, I really wrestled with quitting, as I, by nature, am NOT a quitter.  But, I didn't think I had it in me to continue with this abuse of my body. 
At the beginning of every boot camp we do a warm up.  Typically these warm ups are a mile run...did I mention we work out at noon? and the runs are outside? Uh, ha...it has been a very warm summer.  On our first boot camp warm up, I could barely make it 1 time around the building (1/4 mile)...Well, that Monday...I ran 4 times around the building...a MILE...without stopping! 
I could hardly believe it!  Although, I couldn't physically jump for joy...my body was too tired, inside...I was shouting and dancing around!  You see, when I was going through cancer treatment, I had set a goal--I wanted to run a mile without stopping...sometime!  To think...the day I was going to quit...was the day I achieved my goal!!  Needless, to say, I didn't quit boot camp.  Monday's and Friday's, you will find me sweaty, sore, and challenged, trying to keep up with my boot camp class mates!

Q. Care to share a goal you have reached this summer?

Friday, July 6, 2012

Just sharing!

Hi all...I apologize for my lack of new posts.  We have had a few fun interruptions to our daily life, which has left me little time to update.  But watch out--company leaves on Sunday and I have lots of new story's. 

Today I am excited to share with you that a dear friend has blessed me by having me do a guest blog post on her site. Thank you Susan--you bless my heart!  Check it out at I hope 4 Him.

Blessings on your weekend...until we meet again!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

It never ends...


"Yesterday, the sad news was announced  by Good Morning America host Robin Roberts that she’s battling a rare blood disorder similar to leukemia highlights the very real risks of cancer treatments. (Her heart-breaking interview posted above shows how tough it is to battle health problems while in the public eye.) Roberts’ condition, called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS), is a pre-leukemia thought to be triggered by chemotherapy drugs given to her five years ago for breast cancer...."
to read more please go to this article by the Boston Globe.

My words are all jumbled...my thoughts confused...my heart is so sad...

my faith is in the Great Healer!!


72 times and counting...this is the number of times I have attempted to write my thoughts on yesterdays announcement by Robin Roberts.  I am struggling to find the right words.  Three short years ago I heard the devastating words, "You have cancer,"   My family and I made some tough choices regarding treatments, knowing that the treatments themselves could have life time consequences. 

Sweet words..."life time."  

 Last evening, I read that Robin and I (like many breast cancer survivors) had the same type of chemotherapy that doctors think may have caused Robin's MDS. Talk about hitting close to home.  And, I will be honest, for a few minutes...the fear started to creep in...but not for long.  Because, like Robin says, "Focus on the fight, not the fright."  Although, I do have some long term challenges from my treatment choices, I don't regret any of my decisions and yesterday's announcement by Robin reminded me, once again...

Life is a precious gift!

Ps...ok, for the record...I do think it stinks that Robin finds herself in another battle...it makes me angry and I so can't wait for the day when cancer is NO more!





Wednesday, June 6, 2012

It is...what it is....

Since my chemo treatment I have been trying to grow out my hair.  The last time I was at my hairdressers, she stated, "Right now your hair length is in the ugly phase.  We can either cut it today and you will have a cute cut, or you keep letting it grow out." So, I asked her, "How long will I be in the ugly phase?"  She stated, "Probably 4 or so months."  Confidently (as I so badly want to try having long hair--NEVER has my hair been this long), I said, "Let's do ugly...it's summer, I can pull my hair up if I need to." 

A few days after that, I was shopping for some dress pants for work.  Guess what?  The size I normally wear were a bit baggy, so I tried on the next smaller size.  Well, let's just say this size was a little too tight.  Since I needed the pants, I had to buy the larger size...which make me look like I have "diaper butt." 

The next day, with my "diaper butt" pants and hair in a pony tail, I started giggling...bad hair, bad butt...I guess this summer, it is....what it is....

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Summer 2012

I don't know if it is because we live in the South Dakota, or not, but summer's go way to fast...and before we know it, winter will be here.  This summer, I decided to add a section to my "dream notebook."
My dream notebook was something I started when I was going through cancer treatment.  This notebook is a gathering of words and pictures that inspire me to set goals and pursue dreams.
In the inside cover I have words that inspire me:
On the first page, I have written some "labels" that described my feelings at the time of the my cancer journey.
Next page, started with some "word" from our Maker.
Then a random collection of pictures cut from magazines that inspire me to dream and set goals.

Being Adventorous!



Reading and writing

Writing for a magazine publication

Cute haircuts



sitting by a lake
Tonight I started a new section! 

I gathered my supplies:

Okay, I am off now to set some goals and dream a bit....of what I want to experience this summer!

Question:  How about you?  Do you have a dream book?  Or have you made a list of things you want to do to celebrate summer?