Caring Bridge Entries

Friday, March 20, 2009 4:57 PM, CDT
Hello to you all,
I normally have reserved myself from writing on my wonderful wife Kim’s caring bridge site. My thought being that it is her site, of which she has been not only giving updates and information of her ongoing walk thru the battle at hand/and her great brother Nick’s, but status of her well being to the many family and friends. Being respectful of that and my love for her I have avoided the process of me adding anything myself (especially with me not having the gift of writing). To be quite honest I just didn’t think my own two cents needed to be added. But after last nite (the benefit at the FireHouse UnderGround) I think it my duty and also an honor to add a little here. So bare with here as I try to explain:
A few months back as you know we started a long and challenging journey. Kim was given the devastating diagnosis of breast cancer from her personal doctor and longtime friend, Dr. Candy Ziegler. This diagnosis was incredibly hard to swallow, let alone deal with. We tried very hard to grapple with the news and the varied emotions we were all dealing with as a family. Everything from why, to how can it be possible, not to mention our fears and many tears. Our prayers were for God to lead our path and help us to make wise and informed decisions along the way with the doctors. What we didn’t count on was the incredible love and support along this whole process from all of our friends, family, co-workers, church family and communities.
To be quite honest with you, Kim and I have been humbled beyond words as to the far reaches of every ones generosity. What started out as meals from church, family and friends has carried over to a full-blown benefit that was organized and efficiently carried out last night. Completely once again catching us off guard and letting us know we are loved and cared about. So with that being said I do want to take the time and give a large thank you as follows.
I want to say a large thank you to Kim’s family. Thank you for standing and hanging in there with us. Everything from calls, letters to hospital visits to helping Kim for me when I couldn’t be there or had to work. To Sandy and Jim, thanks will never be enough, we sure appreciate all you do and are. To the brethren of the The Point, thanks is small but it is what I can give at this time. The meals have been wonderful, the letters, e-mails, calls, and above all prayers have given us hope and great encouragement. You never cease to amaze me and carry such a great example. To Allen and Denise a loving thank you for all you have done and your wonderful talks of encouragement to us both-Priceless! To our wonderful friends which are too numerous to mention (plus I don’t want to forget anyone) thank you for standing with us in this time. You have made this journey a whole lot easier to bear. We couldn’t do it without you all and you know it. To the staff at the FireHouse UnderGround I want to say a thank you for your passion. To all of you there thank you is soo small for a group with such big hearts. To the many businesses that gave soo much to help and support us a big thank you. To Dakotacare, your model of care for your employees says it all. To Tom and Laurie. I cannot say enough; you have walked with us as friends and mentors all along the way. We have shared many tears and many wonderful laughs. Rhonda, thanks is such a small word. Kalina, Steven, Brett, Kristine and Kelsey we love you very much and thank you for being who you are. Your help has been priceless and above all we can say we are family. Forgive me please if I have forgotten anyone or anything I too can claim chemo brain-well at least a little bit I suppose…
The overwhelming response and love that we have received from soo many has really brought a tremendous joy to our hearts. We can never repay you with thanks or return all the wonderful deeds you all have done but we can say we never walked this journey alone but as one incredibly large family (we consider you all family). To that we are a living testimony. God bless you and thank you all for your continued prayers,Ferlin
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 6:39 PM, CDT
Hi everyone! I am so excited to let you know that I feel like I am getting back from a wonderful “vacation”! Starting with last Thursday evening’s benefit—wow!!!! Thanks so much to everyone for everything. Not only were we financially blessed; all of your love, care and support will definitely help me on the “dark” days of chemo. It so tickled me so see everyone and I really loved the “hugs!”…(even if mine aren’t worth $22 like my husband’s). (For those of you who weren’t able to attend on Thursday evening—there was a hug from Ferlin auctioned) Friday, I could tell my counts were really low, so I worked from home—what a blessing! Saturday we were blessed with my 6 yr old niece, Kacie spending the night—she sure gave us lots of giggles. Sunday was an awesome day as I got to see my church family and go to Luverne and spend some time with more family. Kalina’s mother in law hosted a baby shower for our expectant grandson. Thanks Deb, wish I would have been able to help. Monday through Wednesday, I was able to go into the office in the mornings, run an errand or two after work, rest a bit and then finish my work hours from home…I tell you, cancer and chemo treatments, sure does make a person appreciate “normal” life! As many of you know, my “vacation” will end tomorrow morning at 10 am. The good thing is that this is the last of the A/C treatments; they say the fatigue is accumulative, so I am planning on a few very low key days. We will also be discussing with the oncologists the next round of treatments, all I know for sure is that they will be weekly for 12 weeks.
A special friend of mine and I are going through a book called To Be Told by Dan Allender, a book about listening to the stories in your life and identify the themes that God has written. Although, I have only read a few pages of the book, it has made me think about and thank God for all of you being characters in my story. I am so blessed by you all! Thanks for loving me through the good and bad days and giving me the hope and courage to fight this ugly disease. I certainly wouldn’t have chosen this story for myself (or anyone else) but I am very blessed to be able to see God’s hand actively involved in the writing of this chapter.
Thanks to everyone for your kind words on the guest book—they are such an encouragement to my family and I!!
A very special happy “40” birthday to my brother Jody—I love you!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 9:07 PM, CDT
WORDS TO LIVE BY

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Better limp all the way to heaven than not get there at all.
The milk of human kindness never curdles.
The quitter never wins. The winner never quits.
Make haste slowly.
The grass is greener on the other side. But it's just as hard to mow.
"I didn't come here to be told that I'm burning the candle at both ends," complained the patient to his doctor." "I came for more wax."
Anonymous

A quick hello to everyone! The cartoon so accurately portrays what I have been feeling the last few days…I am trying to slide uphill and it isn’t working too good. The weekend was spent in lots of slumber with a few short visits from loved ones, the visits were much appreciated. Actually Sunday evening, I thought, this round of chemo isn’t too bad…but Monday came…kind of felt like a truck hit me and then backed over me again to make sure it got me good. This morning, I was able to go into work for a few hours, but wonder if I may have over did it…as I have been under the blankets with chills and a slight fever since I got home from an appointment this afternoon. I appreciate your prayers that the fever stays below 100.5 as I really don’t want to leave the house tonight. (last check my temp was 100.1) (I hope I don't come across as whining...I know that I am very blessed and others have it much worse than I...)
Since I didn’t have the energy for much else tonight and had the “chemo blahs”, I was doing some random searching on the internet. Don’t you just love it when God answers just at the right time? I came across a website called the Cancer Club. What a great encouragement for cancer patients…soo funny…loved the cartoons and hoping to be able to share them with you all as our journey continues…
Also wanted to let you know that after trying out numerous hats, scarves, wigs, etc…I finally found a “wrap” that doesn’t hurt my head…it is so comfortable that I forget I am wearing it…BLESSING!!! (my brothers say their heads don’t hurt when wearing a hat, but of course I think they were born with hats on, I certainly don’t plan on being bald long enough to get “used” to it.)
Hope all is going well with you all! Thanks for your prayers and everything else….my family and I are so blessed!

ps. I have pics of the benefit and will try and post these in a few days!