It seems as I once again...let too much time escape between blog
posts...
This time there has been a
reason--you see...5 years ago, Christmas Eve, I had my breasts removed to
save my life. Needless to say past few months brought with it a roller coaster
of emotions. Let's just say--like many life changing events, a person's walk
with cancer is never over...
For the last few years I have chosen a Word of the Year. I
started thinking about my word for 2014 in November, just minutes after I heard
my oncologist say, "Congratulations, you've graduated and don't need to
come back!" As I called my family to share the exciting news, tears
of joy flowed. On the phone to my daughter, she goes--"Mom, why are you
crying?" Tearfully, I stammer out, "I didn't ever think I would live
to hear those words." I started to thinking maybe my word for 2014 would
be thankful?
Shortly after that appointment, I came up with the crazy idea
to make scrap books for my husband and children. Seriously, whatever possessed
me to think I could make 7 scrapbooks (hubby, 3 kids, son in law, son's girlfriend,
and grandson) with pictures from the last 27 years--in the 3 1/2 weeks between
Thanksgiving and Christmas? Well, those 3 1/2 weeks were filled with many
tears and memories as my hubby and I worked together to complete this
overzealous task. Maybe my 2014 word should be joy?
Urgghhh, a few days before we were scheduled to travel to
Montana for our Christmas celebration, we hit a bump--my right breast became flaming
red, hot and painful. Off to acute care we went. Now, I haven't ever had a lick
of problem with my new “girls”...even through radiation, so this recent
development kind of surprised us. For most, when you get a rash--you
think, infection? But once you get cancer, it is hard to NOT let your mind go
there...the what if's? Thankfully, a shot in the you know where, some
strong meds (and prayers) --the rash cleared up and off to Montana we traveled
for our long waited Christmas celebration. (It was the first Christmas in 5
years we were all together celebrating the miracle of this special season.)
Maybe my 2014 word should be celebration?
January 1, 2014...still no word…I spent some time reading
over my goals of the last few years and pondering over dreams. I read
blog posts on what fellow bloggers were choosing for the 2014 word of the year.
Still no word…
I took a day...to sit...to read...to pray...to ponder...and I
heard a whisper...
Believe!
What?
Again, Believe...
Seriously, God...believe???
For a few weeks, I did some more pondering,
reading...praying...
And last week...I
came down with Shingles.
Seriously? Frustrating…as
I have (once again) been spending time on the couch. Thankfully, I have
meds to keep the pain under control and rash didn't get that bad, but the
fatigue--oh, goodness--did it ever bring flashbacks to the good ol' chemo days.
Slowly, I am regaining my strength, but have cleared my calendar the next
few weeks from any "extras."
Okay, now back to my word for 2014....
Look what I found in a box of
stuff in my basement...
My word for 2014 is believe.
With my unexpected couch time
this past week, I have pondered on the word believe.
Why do I think the word believe
found me for 2014? You see, when I was going through cancer treatment and
writing updates on Caring Bridge--I loved putting words to my thoughts. (Awakening a childhood dream I had forgotten existed.) Shortly,
after I was done with active treatment, my oldest daughter said, "Mom, you
are done with cancer--don't you think it is time to stop with the Caring Bridge
updates?" I will admit, my heart sank a bit at the thought. My dream of writing coming to an end? Seeing the angst on my face she quickly said, "You
don't have to stop writing, maybe start a blog or something." A
blog? What was a blog? Well,...I went to Google. I remember typing in the words: What is a
blog? Followed by the question...How to start a blog. Kim's Ponderings Beyond Breast Cancer was
born...and for the first few years, I loved it!
That was until I started to think
more seriously about this dream of writing. I began following writing blogs,
reading how-to's, researching proper techniques, etc...the more I learned...the
less I found myself writing. I started struggling more and more...who was I to
think I could ever learn to write, especially since I didn't start writing
until my 40's? There is too much to learn...and not enough time (or life) to
learn it all.
FEAR strangled any words I had to
share.
When I was writing on Caring
Bridge...I was too sick to have fear keep me from sharing my words--after all,
I had a bigger fear--death?
When I first started
blogging...the excitement of learning something new kept fear away.
But when I began realizing what I
didn't know...and how much writing would require—fear crept in...Leaving no
more room for the writing dream.
Last week when I was sitting on
the couch pondering about believe...
It came to me...
God has a plan...and a dream for
each of us--but we need to believe this, before we can take the
steps to make the dream come true.
So....now it is February 1,
2014!!
BELIEVE.
12 comments:
Oh Kim, tears of joy flow down my face while reading this post. Praising the Lord with you -- and honestly I think all the words would apply -- but when we come down to it, it all begins with belief.
I'm praying your shingles will clear up quickly. I'm thankful your pain is manageable as I've heard so many say it's one of the most painful things they've experienced.
Anticipate all God has for you while you rest. :) You are such an inspiration.
Much love from SC...
Kim,
So good to hear such joy through your trials and how the Lord has been leading you - I love your openness and honesty with your struggles and fears. ;)
And, how timely for the Lord to give you your word, Believe! Such a good one. - I look forward to hearing more about how He weaves this word into your year. ;)
You are loved sister,
Hester, ;)
Kim,
I really needed this today. Thank you for the words of inspiration. And the reminder to believe! Take care!
You are an amazing and beautiful woman Kim. Truly an inspiration.
I believe in you. and you make me want to believe in myself. Don't stop writing because you have the ability to move, motivate, and change people's lives as your words touch their hearts. POWERFUL!
Yay! I found your blog. Believe was my word the first year I choose a word. I truly was so grateful to have connected with you at Compel. Love our time chatting and as usual for me I was wishing I asked many more questions while we were together.
Hope to connect again soon.
Love the whole story of how you choose your word.
Blessing.
Lovely to have you back blogging again Kim! Wishing you every good thing for this year ahead.
Hi Kim, I'm visiting from the Story Circle. I enjoyed the richness of your post on Believe. Fear has played the role of thief in my own life - it is an enemy we must resist. In God's strength, fear will meet its match. Keep writing my friend!
So happy I found this, Kim. Believe is a fine word, indeed! It's a challenging word, but a hope-filled word too, and I truly believe it is going to take you to amazing places this year. I'm sorry fear has been a factor. I think that's very common. Go back to those days when it wasn't a factor. You don't have to be there physically but you can be there mentally. Live like there's no tomorrow. Let that free you up to follow the dream that was planted in you for a reason. I'll be cheering for you!
My name is hoover, my 18 years old daughter, Tricia was diagnosed of herpes 3 years ago. ever since then,we have been going from one hospital to the other. We tried all sorts of pills but all efforts to get rid of the virus was futile. The blisters kept on reappearing after some months. My daughter was making use of Acyclovir tablets 200mg. 2 tablets every 6hours and fusitin cream 15grams. and H5 POT. Permanganate with water to be applied 2x a day but all still show no result. So I was on the internet some months back, to sought for any other means of saving my only child. just then, i came across a comment on dr imoloa herbal treatment and decided to give it a try. i contacted the him and he prepared some herbs and sent it to me together with guidelines on how to use the herbs through DHL courier service. my daughter used it as directed dr imoloa and in less than 14days, my daughter regained her health.. You should contact Dr imoloa today directly on his email address for any kind of health challenge; lupus disease, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis A.B.C., syphilis, diarrhea, HIV/AIDS, Huntington's Disease, back acne, Chronic renal failure, addison disease, Chronic Pain, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, fungal nail disease, Lyme Disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis , Multiple Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer's Disease, parkison disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy, Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease, Back Pain, Back Sprain, Bipolar Disorder, Brain Tumour, Malignant, Bruxism, Bulimia, Cervical Disk Disease, cardiovascular disease, Neoplasms, chronic respiratory disease, mental and behavioural disorder, Cystic Fibrosis, Hypertension, Diabetes, asthma, Inflammatory autoimmune-mediated arthritis. chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease, impotence, feta alcohol spectrum, Dysthymic Disorder, Eczema, tuberculosis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease. and many more; contact him on email- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com./ also on whatssap-+2347081986098.
Found your post interesting to read. I cant wait to see your post soon. Good Luck for the upcoming update.This article is really very interesting and effective. If you want to know more information of your idols on instagram, please visit site picbear
Am Richard, I am here to testify about a great herbalist man who cured my wife of breast cancer. His name is Dr Imoloa. My wife went through this pain for 3 years, i almost spent all i had, until i saw some testimonies online on how Dr. Imoloa cure them from their diseases, immediately i contacted him through. then he told me the necessary things to do before he will send the herbal medicine. Wish he did through DHL courier service, And he instructed us on how to apply or drink the medicine for good two weeks. and to greatest surprise before the upper third week my wife was relief from all the pains, Believe me, that was how my wife was cured from breast cancer by this great man. He also have powerful herbal medicine to cure diseases like: Alzheimer's disease, parkinson's disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease, Back Pain, Back Sprain, Bipolar Disorder, Brain Tumor, Malignant, Bruxism, Bulimia, Cervical Disc Disease, Cardiovascular Disease, Neoplasms , chronic respiratory disease, mental and behavioral disorder, Cystic Fibrosis, Hypertension, Diabetes, Asthma, Autoimmune inflammatory media arthritis ed. chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease, impotence, alcohol spectrum feta, dysthymic disorder, eczema, tuberculosis, chronic fatigue syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease, lupus disease, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis ABC, syphilis, diarrhea, HIV / AIDS, Huntington's disease, back acne, chronic kidney failure, addison's disease, chronic pain, Crohn's pain, cystic fibrosis, fibromyalgia, inflammatory Bowel disease, fungal nail disease, Lyme disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major depression, Malignant melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Multiple sclerosis, Muscular dystrophy, Rheumatoid arthritis. You can reach him Email Via drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com / whatsapp +2347081986098
Post a Comment