Please accept my apologies for the sporadic posts and ponderings. As mentioned in the last few posts, I have found myself in the leaning over the "pit" stage of my journey recovery. This past week, I am humbled to admit...I sat in the pit! The first few days of the week found me in tears and experiencing a deep sadness, which I couldn't understand. Not to mention, I just don't feel well. On top of that, I cracked my crown on the tooth that I had a recent root canal done. Perfect food for the gremlins to start growing. Those gremlins kept trying to take over my mind telling me all sorts of lies.
1) What did you do wrong now? You just can't get life right can you?
2) God must be really mad at you.
3) What aren't you getting, that you have to continue to suffer physically?
4) What good are you to anyone when you can't even put on a smile and make life work?
Thankfully through my past experiences, I was able to combat the gremlins and shot them down with God's truth. Anytime one of them would try to speak a lie...I would take out some scripture cards a dear friend of mine gave me and start reciting them. God's word to the RESCUE!! Another pivotal point in my journey this week was that one of most sweetest, Godly woman whom I am so blessed to have in my life, took time to meet in a chapel and pray for and with me. Have you ever had someone take your hands and offer prayers on your behalf? Such sweet, tender words praising and seeking our Father...through my sweet sister in Christ...God saw the tears, wiped them away, wrapped His arms around me and carried me until I was able to get up and walk again. (okay, I am barely crawling right now...but trust that I soon will be walking!)
3 comments:
Kim you have been on my mind ALOT! Know that I have been praying for you. When we are weak HE is made strong. How blessed you are to have a friend who cares enough about you to offer the sisterhood hand of prayer in Christ. As you have reminded me so many times to be patient we are on a journey of recovery from all of the treatment and side effects that went with the Cancer, I will redirect that reminder back to you :) Be blessed this week sister!
I am so proud of you for writing about this. Continue to do things that lift you out of the pit - write, talk, pray, reach out, take care of yourself and know that you are loved.
Dear Kim, I'm so sorry you've had a bit of a setback, but I know it won't last because you have a light shining within you. It's almost harder when these moments come, though, especially since you've been well out of the pit for some time now. Just know that I have complete faith in you, and the gremlins don't have a shot against your light coupled with God's grace and love. Hang in there. Thanks for sharing honestly with us so we can help hold you up in prayer. We can't all take you by the hand and lead you in prayer, but we can offer quiet prayers up from wherever we are.
Hugs and blessings...
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